Today’s been a pretty brutal day as I’m trying to run on 4 hours of sleep. Dunno why today’s especially bad, I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep the last couple of weeks but my lethargy hasn’t been as bad as it is today. Just started coffee #2 so hopefully that caffeine will kick in soon. Good thing I’m going on vacation tomorrow.
I’m about to go on vacation which, lately, can only mean that I’m about to finish up p90x. Yes, I was stupid enough to do another round of it, this time without the hardcore diet. So how’d it go? While I didn’t drop as much weight as in the previous round, I’m pretty happy with the results (especially since I didn’t have to restrict what I was eating). I started it back in January because I was bored with the usual gym workout but now after watching the videos again I doubt I’ll do the entire program again. Just can’t watch those things again, they’re too annoying. And getting up every single day at 7am is not the picnic it once was.
People said I was kinda nuts to do it the first time, let alone to do it again, and now I’m kinda ready to admit that I got a little obsessed about it. There’s just always improvements that can be made! But with this second round over that’s it, no more p90x. Sure I’ll probably incorporate some of the workouts into my regular routine but that’s what I said last time 
. Only time will tell.
Of course instead of another round of p90x I’m considering doing this thing called “Insanity”, which sounds totally idiotic. Right up my alley. Final workout is tomorrow so I’ll see what the final stats are, but I think I’m finally comfortable being the way I am. Heh, it only took 10 years of working out to get there.
Ever since I moved out to California I never had a problem keeping up a regular exercise schedule. 5-6 times a week, early in the morning, late at night, even at lunch. I’ve pretty much scheduled my life around the gym trying to get fit and combat the droop factor. This hit overdrive when I did p90x for the first time, working out 7 days a week and pretty much doing not much else. But compared to what I’m doing now that was nothing. Because of 4sq I’m doing double workouts just to get enough checkins to earn this “Gym Rat” badge. That’s right, I’m doing extra workouts just to earn a virtual token to say I’ve gone to the gym 10 times in 30 days. Stupid huh? Or am I stupid for being motivated to do it?
In any case, the whole badge lust has uncovered an entirely new (or perhaps not) obsessive side to my personality. I’m sacrificing other things just to do it. Sleep? Who needs sleep? I need to workout, again. How’d I go from never going to the gym to being borderline OCD about it?
Snowboarding’s always been a dicey proposition for me, riding that edge between exhilarating fun and horrible injury. When I caught a heel edge in 2003 and ended up with a mild concussion you’d think I would have been smart enough to call it quits. Nope, I went out and bought a helmet the very next week so I could keep riding. Besides the concussion there’s been the myriad of small bruises and hits, nothing major, at least not until this past weekend. With two shoulder surgeries under my belt I’m especially careful, and paranoid, about trying not to fall on my upper body. That one bad decision could send me back to the hospital and 6 months of rehab, ouch. I was boarding pretty safely, and more confident too, until I made one slightly bad decision. On the mountain at Kirkwood in the middle of cutting over to get to the backside and I decide to turn over next to a snow bank so I can sit down while waiting for friends. Did the body twist to get momentum on the turn, the nose of my board dug into snow and I feel like “stretch, almost pop” in my right shoulder. FOKK.
Because I was lazy I probably almost dislocated my right shoulder, the previously 100% healthy one. It didn’t pop out but now I’m starting down that slippery road of it actually coming out again. Still can’t believe I did that. Stupid stupid stupid. Spent the next hour doing range of motion exercises to see how bad the damage was. For now it feels minor, just some tendon/muscle strain which should go away after a couple days. To top it off I ate it hard on the penultimate run of the day and thought I did damage to my other shoulder. Checking it out in the mirror later I couldn’t tell if it looked ok or not, that’s what happens when I don’t remember what shoulders are really supposed to look like now since mine don’t match anymore.
Time to hit those shoulder exercises harder now.
Somewhere in the last year I went from being a casual coffee drinker to being a serious coffee drinker. Even though I’ve used the single cone drip filter for over a year now the whole coffee thing has really gone into overdrive. It started with buying beans to make coffee every morning, then visiting different coffee shops in SF to find the best cup of black coffee, and now I’m looking at getting a “better” drip filter. I bought a grinder specifically to grind beans for my morning coffee. I’m watching videos about poured over coffee and looking at a water kettle specifically made for that kinda coffee. How’d it get to this point? I knew I liked coffee but it’s starting to go off the deep end.
I’ve become a coffee geek. Totally glad it’s not espresso though, that would definitely hurt the wallet.
For people who don’t know me that well it’s probably a strange thing to find out about my panda fanaticism. What’s a grown man doing with such an adoration of a black and white bear? I don’t really try to explain it beyond saying that Yes indeed I like pandas. People don’t usually probe any further than that, they probably think I’m crazy. But with Tai Shan leaving for China tomorrow morning the founder of the panda flickr group I’m on posted an article about the community that’s gathered since his birth to watch him grow up. Each of us is drawn to him (and together) by different things, his eyes, the way he acts, him being him. I think he’s come to symbolize different things for everyone, a point of hope or silliness, joy or tranquility.
For me he’s been that one constant I’ve been able to count on in rough times. I know that when I watch him on the cam or at the zoo, or even look at photos of him my day will brighten. There’s no way I can’t look at him and feel good, regardless of what I’m going through that day. I’ll truly miss him.
Frances summed it up best in the article:
“When I saw his mom taking care of him . . . I appreciated it so much because I was without my mom, even though my mom loved me a lot,” she said. “I saw this child cuddled . . . [by] a huge bear 300 times his size, holding him, taking care of him. It [says], for a person like me, there’s love out there, there’s peace.”
She discovered others like her and founded Pandas Unlimited in 2006. For some members, Tai Shan replaced something they had lost — a spouse — or something they never had. “He fills an empty space in their heart,” she said.
“It’s not that anything is wrong with them,” she said. “They’re just chosen people.”
The chosen people, I like that.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/03/AR2010020302108.html
Some stats on the first month of this year’s project 365:
So far I’ve managed not to take any photos of pandas or my house. Plus I think the photos this year are better than the ones from 2008.
I told myself that canceling Directv would give me the kick in the pants to start being more productive when I got home from work. It’s been a week since I cut the cord and I gotta say, more productive? not so much. I still watch the requisite tv show while eating dinner (thank god for internet streaming, can’t quit the tube cold turkey now) but when whatever show I’m watching ends it’s been a little tough to peel my butt off the couch. There’s still always something to watch, for better or worse.
All is not lost though as right after dinner I’m doing all the “house stuff” that I’ve put off for too long; clean up this room, sort through this junk, throw out this crap. Cleanliness is next to Godliness right? If the house is neat and organized than I so will my life right? Haha, I wish. At least I’m being sorta productive. Once all this stuff is done it’s onto something else, just gotta find what that something else is.
If I had fun during last year’s birthday celebration then this year’s blew it away. Went out to dinner with friends last night in SF and then drinks afterward and the entire night was alcohol-induced hilarity. Well, not entirely alcohol-induced but the laughs were coming a mile a minute. I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. And to top it off we earned our trip to the Jack in the Crack drive-thru. I kept it in check and didn’t lose control, don’t really need another drunken story to add to my resume.
So, 32. Hmm, it’s getting to a point where age is but a number, it doesn’t really mean much. I don’t really feel older; wiser maybe but still as immature as ever. In terms of personal growth I think it’s been a good year for me, certainly better than year 30. Some ups, some downs, but pretty good for the most part. I’ve become a lot more comfortable being myself and pushed the boundary of what defines me. I guess you could say that my “personality” has finally grown up; it’s actually possible for someone to describe me (unlike the characters in Star Wars: Episode I).
I know what I have. I know what I want (kinda). Now it’s time to go get it.
Looking back at my New Year’s post from last year I said to myself that I wasn’t going to make any resolutions for 2009, that I was going to take it as it comes. Now that it’s 2010 I’m back in “reset” mode again, do I make resolutions for the upcoming year or do I just play it by ear? New Year’s is a way to get that fresh start if needed, where the counter goes back to zero. I never make grandiose resolutions like “I’ll be nicer” or “I’m going to be a better person”; they’re always about tangible things that I could maybe accomplish.
But looking at this year as I’m about to turn 32 I think I’ll make two: get fit (as if that’ll never get old) and to finally be happy again. I should probably just not make the fit one and just make it perpetual because I’ll probably always make it. The happy one though is out of the box for me. 2010’s the year that I’ll try and be resolutely happy again. That’s not to say the past year was all horrible, it wasn’t. I’m definitely better than I’ve been in a long while but I think it can be better. It can always be better.
We’ll see how it goes this year. Maybe it will be the year we make contact.